


Loveship

by Yellow_Beacon



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Minho has many feelings and all of them are because of Jisung, Rated T but sex is mentioned and vaguely described beware
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29097300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yellow_Beacon/pseuds/Yellow_Beacon
Summary: “Sorry” Minho grimaced and turned back to the smiling man in front of him.Standing in just a pair of soft grey sweatpants and a big tee which had been washed so many times that the printed logo on the front was just a big stretched pattern of splotches. A goofy sparkle in those browns of his and hair that laid flat and newly washed over his forehead. Minho’s heart fluttered when their eyes finally met and it was sickening and awful and he wanted to stab his fingertips through his skin, deep between the bone of his ribcage and hold onto it to calm it down.This wasn’t normal.𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Mentioned Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Mentioned Yang Jeongin/Hwang Hyunjin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 96





	Loveship

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm back (again)  
> This fic started off as me being anxious as hell and having a breakdown at like 2 am two days ago and started to just write and wow, what a magical moment ♥ Hopefully I can keep this up and continue writing so my other fanfics can be finished (looking specifically at you 'the fallen spear')  
> But in short- this is basically just me projecting my feelings and gave Minho hell as an end result (sorry)  
> I hope you enjoy nevertheless ♥ and sorry if it's not so put together, I basically just word vomited and is now simply presenting it with two beta runs and a quick look through Grammarly.  
> The title is the mashed-up words of love and skinship.  
> Also, please leave a comment or kudos, I really appreciate them ♥

“So… when are you going to tell him?”  
Minho’s head perked up and he stared from the sunlit glistering snow outside to the white, bleached back of Jeongin’s head with a confused arch of his brow.  
“What?” he asked back, completely certain that he misheard.  
But the younger just looked back at him with a small smile before he told their orders to the young barista over the counter and paid before Minho even registered what happened. Yeah, no… Minho hadn’t misheard and by the small (now borderline teasing) smile that still played on Jeongin’s lips- there wasn’t any other intention in the making than being perfectly clear about what he meant.

It began just like a day like this one, one year ago, just as sunny but without as much snow and without the restrictions that screamed out at you wherever you looked. They had the day off back then as well out on their usual coffee routine since they were the ones that woke up first and he had, somehow, blurted out in a wild feverish fit that he feared he might have feelings for someone when Jeongin innocently asked him why he was so tense. The younger had looked at him with such surprise then and the movement of placing the lid against his lips stopped immediately. Minho just cursed between pressed lips and looked down at the table, thinking that if he stared hard enough he might melt into the polished tree surface of it, wishing that no one had heard and recognized him in the thankfully, nearly empty café.   
“That’s a bold thing to say just like that, hyung” Jeongin pursed his lips slightly while he looked at him with squinting, suspecting eyes underneath the black, rimmed cap.   
But Minho just looked up again with an overexaggerated stretch of his lips, completely blank behind the eyes, “No, no uh… I’ve fucked up. I never meant to… it’s all blowing up to fast in my head and I feel like I can’t keep up with my own emotions”

Fuck. 

He felt how his whole face blossomed up like red poppies on a field and his ears might as well fall of his head from the warmth they emitted. His hands felt damp, restless and he couldn’t believe that he (the second oldest of their group and an important pillar for the other’s to lean on) was putting his burden out into the air between them like he was the younger of them.  
But jeongin didn’t seem to mind when he dared himself to look up and meet his eyes. There was just a sliver of worry that seemed to pass through him when they locked eyes and he placed his paper cup on the table with another purse of lips… but this expression was more of a concern than a suspicion that Minho was kidding with him.   
“Who uh… I mean- is it… someone I know?” he asked with a tentative tone in his voice and Minho’s shoulder’s slumped, “Someone from the company?” the younger asked next and leaned forward a little while Minho unhappily nodded, “Someone from our sector?” another nod and Jeongin gripped onto the table in pure suspense, “... Staff?” The older shook his head at that and it was as if both of them took a deep breath of relief because that would’ve been an even deeper hell to dig out of. 

But that only meant one thing and Jeongin leaned back in his chair, swallowed dry and said with a voice that only wavered a little, “I uh… oh well, this is awkward” Minho nodded again and felt how his cheeks flushed up again, suddenly thankful for his iced americano and the lack of stress it brought to not having to worry about his drink getting cold because then the face mask could stay where it was, “Well… I…” Jeongin seemed flustered, picking at his nails now and eyes flickering here and there to avoid looking at Minho directly, “You… you probably stand a better chance than me anyway…” he finally mumbled and then clenched his fist as if he immediately regretted the words that slipped out, “even if you’re not closer in age… he’ll probably prefer someone older anyway” the younger pulled a pained expression and sighed deeply, “and he’d probably let you brush his hair… and braid it because you have much more patience than me”  
Minho felt how his heart dropped to the pit of his stomach in fear before his brain did a short rewind, realised that what was just said didn’t add up and felt how his brows wrinkled in confusion, “Wait… braid?” 

Jeongin looked up, white as a sheet and dim in the familiar brown of his eyes, like someone had turned off the lights, “Yes. I liked it more as blonde but… I suppose he looks just as good back to dark” he pressed on and Minho leaned forward this time,   
“Who are you talking about?”   
“Hyunjin, of course” the younger hiccuped and it looked like he was seconds from bursting into tears. Minho paused for a moment before he couldn’t hold his laughter, “Wha- what?” Jeongin’s lower lip trembled before his friend reached forward and placed a hand on his shoulder,   
“You… you know that _no one_ is out to steal him from you, right? Least of all me” he chuckled, “I couldn’t last two minutes without the need to stuff his mouth with napkins”  
“Oh” Jeongin let out a weak laugh too before he sighed with relief, cheeks tinted a bright red and another moment passed between them before he spoke up again, “It’s Jisung, isn’t it?”   
The big smile died on Minho’s lips and he looked away again, heart heavy while his mouth went completely dry, and he sighed out, “Yeah… it is”  
He glanced at his friend again but Jeongin just smiled, “Good” he concluded before taking another sip of his coffee, grimaced slightly because it had gone cold and then picked up his phone from his pocket, forcing Minho to accept his revealed secret to be what he had dreaded for weeks now- ‘Good’

“You should, you know” Minho was forced back to the present by a gentle nudge of the younger as he handed him the iced americano (that much hadn’t changed in a year at least) “tell him that is”  
Minho sighed with a pout and the air that escaped flowed upwards, moved some strands of his fringe into his eyes and he combed it back with an annoyed flick of his wrist before he started to move out of the café with large, decisive steps,  
“Hyung” Jeongin started again when they had been walking for a minute, slowly and without a rush to make their way back to the dorm, “You’ve known it for long enough to be sure… why are you hesitating?” 

Yeah, why? He was certain that Jisung felt _something_ for him… or he wouldn’t be spending so much time with him, right? He wouldn’t crawl underneath his covers every other night, curling up next to him or pulling him closer with an affirmative arm around him… right?   
He… he wouldn’t talk the way he did. Whisper all the dirty secrets he’s had about Minho for what felt like ages, the nasty things he wished they could do if all the staff were gone or if they had the dorm to themselves.   
The… the way he felt when he was so deep into him that Minho could barely breathe or… let Minho to peek underneath the surface and see all him as well. The good and the bad, the ugly and the beautiful. To be so vulnerable that he allowed Minho to have that as well, the way he looked with his legs on Minho’s shoulder’s, lips glistening with saliva and chest flushed red while the older tried his utmost to keep the creaking from the bed at it’s minimum.  
… Yeah… why was he even worried?   
Maybe Jisung actually did have feelings for him as well…   
Right?   
Or well… of course, he did. You don’t do the things that the two of them did without feelings… right?

A door slammed shut behind him and he nearly jumped when a person approached him with a rapid speed, “Aw… you didn’t bring me anything?”  
Minho blinked. They were home. He’d been so deep in thought that he must’ve completely blanked out and just walked next to Jeongin on autopilot.   
He looked over at the young blonde with a sheepish expression and was greeted by a small nod and an encouraging smile. Jeongin hanged his jacket and then turned with rosy cheeks, raised his mug of coffee and then handled it over, half of the drink carefully measured out from months upon months of doing the same routine and still a nice and warm temperature, to Hyunjin who sleepily accepted it, pulled Jeongin into a small hug with one arm, nuzzled his nose into his hair and mumbled a “Thanks babe” while the younger beamed back with the brightest smile and a nervous giggle, 

“Sorry” Minho grimaced and turned back to the smiling man in front of him.   
Standing in just a pair of soft grey sweatpants and a big tee which had been washed so many times that the printed logo on the front was just a big stretched pattern of splotches. A goofy sparkle in those browns of his and hair that laid flat and newly washed over his forehead. Minho’s heart fluttered when their eyes finally met and it was sickening and awful and he wanted to stab his fingertips through his skin, deep between the bone of his ribcage and hold onto it to calm it down.   
This wasn’t normal.

 _Feeling like this wasn’t normal._

“Hey?” Jisung’s smile faltered, “Are you ok?” he asked and reached out his hand with a small, comforting smile. One that immediately fell a bit when the older took a step back and hit his heel against the wooden front door.   
Minho swallowed dry and tried to force down not only a ridiculous feeling of sincere sorrow as if he’d really promised Jisung a coffee of his own but also something that resembled pure panic. The younger was _too_ close and he had him backed up in a corner where Minho’s only escape would be back out through the front door again (and that, if anything, would be highly questionable) He glanced at his iced americano, suddenly feeling like coffee might not be such a good idea when his heart already raced like he’s had five of them.   
There was at least ¾ left in the cup, he must’ve just taken a couple of sips while walking back to the dorm, “Uh- I’m fine… you can have mine if you want. It was too cold to have iced americano today anyway” he reached it out for the younger to take and hoped that it was a good enough of a peace offering for his weird behaviour.   
Jisung hesitated for a moment, half expecting Minho to take it back and laugh at his amazing prank and half still worried for his friend before the need for caffeine took the upper hand.   
“Thanks" he glanced at Minho again, “even though you’re acting strange…” he took a sip, waited for the saltiness of soy sauce or salt to frizzle his taste buds but was only embraced by the bitterness of the espresso, “I will find out before the day is over, you know. You can’t keep secrets from me”  
Minho sighed. If the younger only knew what he’d carried with him for more than a year now. 

The day passed nevertheless and the void of stress and anxiety in Minho’s stomach hollowed out more and more as the hours passed. Jisung had been avoiding him all day and he was unsure if it was a blessing or a curse in a situation like this. He had tried to keep himself busy while still enjoying their time off- watched all the new episodes of that serie he enjoyed so much and then took a small nap in the sofa, tucked in against the armrest while he tried to ignore the fact that his hyung was trying his very best to be respectful and not slid his hands up under the shirt of his fellow Aussie on the other side of the sofa while the three of them watched some drama on the tv.   
He had played some Brawl Stars on his phone and punched Hyunjin on the shoulder when he, in his naive lust for some alleged treasures over a declining hill, failed to escape the poison cloud that shrunk the arena and forced Minho to fend for their team alone. The wails and apologies from the younger made him feel a bit better though and he only had to threaten to put on the air fryer once before Hynjin pulled himself together and they came out on top.   
All the harsh words worked out rather excellent though, at least according to Jeongin who gave him a small, secretive smile of appreciation when his target of affection quite literally flopped on top of him on the floor, whining that Minho was evil and his Innie-ah needed to save him. 

Another hour and the day passed from afternoon to evening. The sun just barely stretched it’s last beams over the sky, sending golden rays through the window of the room he shared with three other members. It would’ve been a pretty sight, a good time for Minho to take in the calmness of the day ending and prepare for the dinner he heard was being made in the kitchen- if it wouldn’t be for the fact that the energy he’d gotten from the nap paid off in a random spurt of ‘I need to clean this out’ and now half of his wardrobe rested in a pile on the dusty floor. He had only gotten through a few items when Jisung finally approached him with a soft knock on the door and a confused glance at the pile on the floor. 

“I-” he started but was immediately interrupted,   
“I’m fine. I promise” but Minho heard on his own tone that none of it rang true, both when it came to his current problem of sorting out his closet (why did he decide to do this now?) and the anxious feelings in his body that hung over his head like a grey cloud, “It’s- uh… good to clean out what you don’t use anymore or- or save what you love but can’t wear anymore and- uh… who knows-” he leaned down and grabbed the nearest shirt, “I could probably sell this for good money in like twenty years…”   
Jisung smiled at his joke but it looked more like a pained grimace, “Yeah… you probably could. But-” he had taken a step into the room and Minho swallowed hard, flinching like a deer that just heard a stick break in a quiet forest, “But why are you like that?” the younger looked sincerely sad about the physical barrier that Minho frantically tried to build between them and it broke his heart, like the countless other times when he just couldn’t deal with his own emotions, “What has changed?” Jisung continued and bit down on his lower lip when moving closer.  
Because for every step that Jisung took forward, was a step that his friend took backwards until he hit the bottom bunkbed with the back of his knees and was forced to admit defeat. He sighed, averted his eyes and tried to look anywhere else than at the man that sent his stomach into somersaults.  
“I… I can’t-” he bit back the words. Not daring to even poke at the subject yet and Jisung tried again, polite despite the situation,   
“You can’t what? If I’ve done anything…” he sighed, “If… if I’ve said something or-” his cheeks got dusted in a weak pink in Minho peripheral, “ or hurt you when we’ve…when we…” he trailed off.

Was he about to get sick from the butterflies in his stomach? Maybe. Minho didn’t want the answer to that question. Jisung gave him a moment but Minho kept his lips pressed together and his sight cast down. There was a hole in his sock. A few cat hairs had stubbornly sneaked their way through the fabric from the last time he was back home with his parents. Jisung waited, sighed, closed the small distance that was left and Minho felt how his whole body tense up when only centimetres stretched between them. He felt the younger’s breath against his face, the heat his body emitted and God… he missed it. Missed them. The carelessness, the simple thing that was them.   
“Tell me. I deserve to know” Jisung urged and hesitated only momentarily before he carefully, as if he was afraid that his friend would bolt away, slipped his fingers into the space between Minho’s own. 

Minho never cried, not if there was a sliver of control that he could hold onto. He detested human contact and only allowed the members to hug him because he loved them and they were like brother’s, like an awkward but familiar extent of himself, with the knowledge of his limits and what would happen if they crossed it.   
But Jisung had never been a part of that limit. Had never felt the fear of what it meant to go too far.   
Jisung had never been someone that Minho got enough of. Never been someone he could say no to.   
The younger knew so of course and had always used his advantages to their full potential- selfishly taking all the hugs and all the affection Minho had to give until there was none left for the other’s… but it was never a problem. Because they belonged together, like soulmates that constantly struggled into different directions before they got pushed back together by the choice of food or the tv series they wanted to watch or the time they chose to head to the gym or other simple everyday decisions like that- just like magnets.

“I… I know”  
The tears burned in the corners of his eyes and he hated the feeling. To be so weak and with even fewer words at his disposal than usual. He didn’t even know where to start.  
“Then start somewhere” Jisung squeezed his hand which forced the older to look up at him. He really said those words out loud, didn’t he? “There you go, baby” Jisung gave him a motivated smile when their eyes met and placed a warm hand on Minho’s cheek, “I trust you and you know you can trust me too, right?”   
He did know that. He knew that Jisung would never do anything that would hurt him… and still…  
“We need to stop” 

Whatever it was that Jisung expected, whether it was curses or blessings- this wasn’t what he’d guessed at all.   
“Stop?” he echoed and Minho watched while all colour seemed to drain from his face, “What do mean?”  
“Stop what we’re doing” Minho held up their clasped hands and waved at the short distance between them with sharp movements, “This- whatever this is. Whatever we’ve done the past two years”   
His heart squeezed. What was he talking about? He was supposed to profess his love. To ask if Jisung felt the same, not destroy what they had. His vision grew blurry and his very being felt like it might implode on itself but he couldn’t care at the moment because the expression on Jisung’s face burned hotter than the tears that currently streamed down his cheeks,   
“You don’t want…?” the younger asked, voice harsh and nearly breaking, “But I thought-”

Maybe this was for the best though and the word vomit that followed was completely out of his control.

“I don’t want us” Minho let go of his hand and crossed his arms over his chest, “None of what is us is normal. It's not fanservice anymore or even skinship and I- I can’t go a day without you. Can’t have a day in peace without your stupid smile and your sweet fucking eyes and I- I”  
“But I do” Jisung interrupted, head shaking in disbelief, “and I don’t care about what you say because I don’t believe a word of it” the younger drilled his eyes into him and Minho felt like he couldn’t look away again, “I know that I want you to be the first one I see in the morning, with your hair sticking up in every direction and drool in the corner of your lips. I want us to live carelessly every day as we did before. I want to hold your hand-” he reached out and Minho knew it was a lost cause the moment he felt his friend come closer once again, “I want to keep you close-” Jisung’s voice lowered, “Hold you-” he sneaked his other arm around Minho’s waist, flushed their bodies together and gave the older a breathless smile, “I can spend the rest of my life like this” 

The last words were just a whisper but Minho felt how it resonated with his soul, “Really?” he asked, just to be sure and Jisung nodded, slowly before he leaned forward and it felt like the two of them could breathe again when their foreheads pressed together.  
“I love you” the words slipped out before he could stop them but somehow the ground _didn’t_ swallow him up and Jisung _didn’t_ let him go. The younger just hummed back, took a new, tighter hold around his waist and then replied with,   
“Thought so. Is that why you’ve been so strange?”

It felt embarrassing in hindsight and Minho just nodded before Jisung nudged his nose against him and it was endearing, soft and Minho wondered why he even worried in the first place. The kiss that followed came just as natural and he melted into the younger’s arms.   
No, Jisung kissed him with as much fervour as he did everything in life- with an insatiable passion and lust for more.   
“Oh, before I forget and send that pretty head of yours in any more doubt-” Jisung paused and pulled them apart to look into his eyes, “I love you too, baby”  
Minho rolled his eyes at that and swore to himself that he would wipe that stupid grin off his lover’s face before the evening was over. 


End file.
